omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
