At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
third nipple confirmed
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
