I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
