but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Randomize
