I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
