physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
