Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The air was thick with penises
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
