I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
