so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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