So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My pussy is not your playground.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
