btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
