Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
