Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i've created a new STD.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
