If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
