i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
