she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
