Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
