Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
