dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
