hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
