iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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