Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She has the best kind of daddy issues
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
