Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
