Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
