Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My feet surprised me
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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