I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
