M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
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