Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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