I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
