I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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