so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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