PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
