KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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