I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
