It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
