just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just gift wrapped bread.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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