hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
