Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
