I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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