Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
