im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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