im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
