If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
this hospital has no fireball
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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