After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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