booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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