I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
