i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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