This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
