Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
