If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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