i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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