I think im going to throw up on grandma
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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